Scouts Night Hike

Last Friday 14th May I helped out on the Scout Night Hike.  The route took us from Bankfoot through Glen Garr and to Dunkeld via the Hermitage and back to Bankfoot.  By the end of the night most of the children were ready to collapse but all did very well. 

The above picture is taken on my camera phone in Glen Garr and below is Cameron on the hike.

Ballumbie Castle Golf

Yesterday I played golf with Hydro Electric Golf Club.  The course, Ballumbie Castle in Dundee, was great however, its location was a little strange, situated in the middle of a housing scheme. (Posh word for estate to reflect the posh houses).

 

My golf was a little hit and miss (pardon the pun).  One of my shots I have named the “Barns Wallis” shot as it skimmed across the pond in the picture below, hitting the water twice before emerging on dry land the other side.

Lou playing golf on Ballumbie Castle course.

Consultants

My Chief Exec at work writes a blog and was dealing with some consultants the other day.  Some of his work colleges told him a few consultant jokes so I thought I would share them with you.

 

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know anything about my business...... Now give me back my dog."

 

 

A physician, a civil engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.
The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The consultant leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"